Enduring Questions on Love from the Ramayana

The Ramayana, a cornerstone of Indian literature and spirituality, has captivated audiences for millennia with its timeless and nuanced takes on love, duty, and morality.

Despite its ancient origins, the epic raises several enduring questions for relationships that this post will explore.

The Meeting and Marriage of Rama and Sita

Rama and Sita meet at Sita's swayamvara, a ceremony set up by her father King Janaka to find her a worthy suitor. King Janaka informs the gathered crowd of the sacred bow in his possession that no one has been able to string. He issues the challenge that whoever can string the bow will win the hand of his daughter. Rama not only strings the bow but breaks it and wins Sita's hand in marriage.

A marvel has the hero wrought
Beyond belief, surpassing thought.
My child, to royal Ráma wed,
New glory on our line will shed:
And true my promise will remain
That hero's worth the bride should gain.
Dearer to me than light and life,
My Sítá shall be Ráma's wife.

Enduring Questions

• How does the notion of destiny in relationships, as seen in Rama and Sita’s meeting, influence our search for love today? Rama and Sita's union seems preordained, with a ceremonial challenge serving as the vehicle for their meeting. In modern dating, how do we balance the idea of finding "the one" with the reality that relationships often require effort, choice, and timing beyond fate?
  
• Rama proves his worth through an extraordinary feat. What are healthy ways to demonstrate our authentic character and values to potential partners?

Rama is Exiled

Soon after their marriage and on the eve of Rama's coronation as the king of Ayodhya, Rama is exiled into the forest for fourteen years by his father, as a result of a long-forgotten vow and palace intrigue.

Rama chooses to honor his father's word and accept the exile without protest. Sita insists on accompanying Rama into exile, willingly leaving behind the comforts and security of royal life to stand by her husband's side.

Enduring Questions

• How do we balance our obligations to family with our desires and happiness? Rama’s choice to honor his father’s vow over his desire to rule Ayodhya places family loyalty above personal ambition. In modern relationships, how do we decide when to prioritize family obligations over personal goals and happiness, especially when the two are in conflict?
  
• What sacrifices are we willing to make for our partners, and where do we draw the line? Sita sacrifices her royal comforts and safety to join Rama in exile, showing immense devotion. In today’s relationships, how can we assess when it’s healthy to make sacrifices for a partner’s career or dreams, and where should we draw the line to protect our own well-being?
  
• How do unexpected, life-altering challenges reveal the strength of our relationships? Rama and Sita’s exile throws them into an entirely new, difficult reality. How would challenges like job loss, health issues, or a family emergency reveal or test the resilience and adaptability of our romantic relationships?

Life in the Forest and Sita's Kidnapping

Lakshmana, Rama's devoted younger brother, insists on accompanying Rama and Sita into the forest, and the trio enjoys a mostly simple and peaceful life befriending sages and the noble vulture king Jatayu.

In the last year of their fourteen-year exile, Sita becomes enchanted by a golden deer's beauty and asks Rama to capture it for her. Rama initially hesitates but eventually gives in trusting Sita's judgment. Unbeknownst to the trio, the deer is a demon in disguise and part of a plot to kidnap Sita.

As Rama pursues the deer, leaving Lakshmana to guard Sita, they hear a cry mimicking Rama's voice calling for help. Despite Lakshmana's reluctance, Sita insists he goes to Rama's aid, leaving her alone. At this vulnerable moment, Ravana, the demon king of Lanka, kidnaps Sita.

Enduring Questions

• How can the pursuit of fleeting desires cloud our judgment in relationships? Sita's longing for the golden deer leads her to pressure Rama into pursuing it, sparking the chain of events that ultimately results in her kidnapping.
  
• How do we navigate the balance between trust and protection in relationships, especially when faced with uncertainty? Rama's decision to leave Sita to chase the deer, and later Lakshmana's choice to leave her to aid Rama, highlight the tension between respecting Sita's ability to be alone and the need to protect her. How do we make decisions about when to respect a loved one’s wishes versus when to protect them from potential harm?

Hanuman Helps and the Epic War

Rama and Lakshmana are filled with failure and guilt after learning of Sita's abduction. They immediately begin searching through the forest for signs of Sita and her captor and learn from their friends that Sita was taken southward.

As Rama and Lakshmana venture further south, they enter the monkey kingdom and befriend the monkey king Sugriva , and his commander Hanuman. They form a mutual alliance, and Hanuman is tasked with locating Sita. He embarks on an epic voyage across the ocean to Lanka where he successfully locates Sita in Ravana's garden.

In a moving scene, Hanuman presents Rama's ring as proof of his identity and assures Sita of her husband's undying love and imminent rescue plan. Hanuman's successful mission and detailed report on Lanka's defenses paves the way for Rama's successful invasion of Lanka and reunion with Sita.

Enduring Questions

• What role do supportive friendships play in sustaining and enriching romantic relationships? The alliance between Rama and the Vanaras, particularly Hanuman, showcases how friendships can be instrumental in overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Hanuman and the Vanaras provide not just physical aid, but also emotional support and strategic counsel. Hanuman's actions restore both Sita and Rama's faith in their relationship.

Joyous Reunion and Sita's Banishment

After the epic battle of Lanka, as Rama and Sita approach Ayodhya, the citizens prepare for their arrival by illuminating the city with oil lamps to symbolize light conquering darkness. This grand welcome becomes the foundation for the Hindu festival of Deepavali, also known as Diwali.

As the celebrations die down, whispers and doubts begin to circulate among the public regarding Sita's fidelity during her captivity in Lanka. Torn between his love for Sita and his duty as a king to uphold public morality, Rama faces a heart-wrenching decision and subjects Sita to a public trial by fire to prove her purity. Sita walks into a burning pyre and leaves unscathed proving her purity.

The people of Ayodhya continue to express concern about having a queen whose purity has been questioned, viewing it as a moral stain on the kingdom. With great anguish, Rama orders Lakshmana to exile Sita to the forest despite knowing she is pregnant with his child.

Sita, accepting her fate with grace and dignity, finds refuge in the forest ashram of a sage. There, she gives birth to and raises twin sons. Years later, when Rama encounters his sons during a ritual in the forest, he realizes the consequences of his actions and repents.

In a final, poignant moment, Sita, having endured a lifetime of trials and proving her purity beyond doubt, calls upon her mother, the Earth goddess, to take her back. The earth opens, and Sita descends into it, leaving Rama to complete his reign without her.

Enduring Questions

• How can one navigate the conflict between personal love and public duty when societal expectations demand difficult choices?
  Rama’s decision to banish Sita, despite knowing her innocence, reflects the painful tension between his love for her and his obligation to maintain the kingdom’s moral standing. How do we balance personal feelings and loyalty to a partner with the pressures and expectations imposed by societal norms or professional responsibilities?
  
• How does one maintain self-worth and dignity when a partner’s decisions feel unjust or deeply hurtful? Sita preserves her dignity and self-respect, even when Rama banishes her, and raises their children in exile. How can we reconcile our values and self-respect when a partner makes decisions that we believe are unjust or when their actions cause us pain?

We've barely scratched the surface of the questions and interpretations that arise from the lives of Rama, Sita, and the other richly complex characters within this epic.

As you reflect on the Ramayana and ponder these timeless questions, may your insights inspire you to forge deeper connections, foster more open communication, and nurture a relationship that mirrors the resilience and depth of this ancient tale.